Can anger or resentment cause cancer?
My mother recently passed away at the age of 77. She was diagnosed with cancer in advanced stages and survived for exactly 49 days after that. Her symptoms were only coughing for 5-6 weeks before she was diagnosed. I have shared about this in my Medium post. Having witnessed something so painful and that too so unexpectedly, I am sharing my thoughts and observations here. Not everything I write below is connected to my mother’s cancer, however there are some things I find important to share.
According to mindfulness (Buddha’s teachings), mind is the forerunner of everything. Mind takes birth first. All mental phenomena like intentions, thoughts, cravings or aversions arise in the mind first and then manifest in the body as feeling. Quoting from Vipassana Research Institute which does research on mindfulness and is associated with the tradition of Sri S N Goenka (www.dhamma.org), an organisation that teaches Vipassana courses all over the world-
All phenomena spring from mind. Mind matters most which is chief, and therefore everything is mind-made –
मनोपुब्बनगमा धम्म, मनोसेत्थ मनोमया
It is necessary to purify the mind for purifying oneself. An action of speech or body performed with an impure mind is a misdeed, which harms one and also others. Similarly, an action performed with a pure mind is virtuous action beneficial to one and also to others. When the mind gets defiled the actions of body and speech also get defiled and their consequences cause suffering. As it is said –
मनसा चे पदुत्थेन, भासति वा करोति वा; ततो नाम दुक्खमन्वेति, चक्कमव वहतो पदम्।
— If with an impure mind one performs any action of speech or body, then suffering follows that person as the cartwheel follows the foot of the draught animal. Similarly – When the mind is pure the actions of body and speech also become naturally pure and their results lead to happiness.
मनसा च पसन्नेना, भासति वा करोति वा; ततो नाम सुखमन्वेति, चयैव अनापायिनि।
— If with a pure mind one performs any action of speech or body, then happiness follows that person as a shadow that never departs.
(https://www.vridhamma.org/discourses/The-Teaching-of-Pure-Dhamma)
Role of Samadhi (Jhana or concentration)
In my personal experience, Vipassana is nothing but a simple practice of observing mental phenomena objectively to understand their true nature using a concentrated mind as a tool. Even though I am only a fledgling on the path and have a lot to learn, I am certain about above too, that everything arises in the mind first. As the mind is, so our experiences are. When the mind is focused and joyful we are dealing with lighter feelings and are happy. When mind is agitated, it gets disturbed, and we start dealing with heavier feelings and become unhappy. If we are dealing with sudden events like loss, death, accident, etc, our mind gets agitated. Our old conditioned perceptions come up due to old habits and ignorance. And we see these events as “bad” or “unfortunate” and start believing in those thoughts and resultantly, lose concentration of the mind. Because we lose Samadhi, unhealthy feelings associated with these thoughts grow very quickly, increase our stress and sooner or later start manifesting as a disease or disorder. So how quickly one can come out of any adversity really first depends upon how quickly one can re-establish concentration of the mind. Anapana practice does exactly that- helps us focus our mind on our breath while we stay objective and detached from thoughts. If one doesn’t fall for the story of thoughts like “something really bad has happened”, or “why did this happen with me”, or “everyone is hurtful” or “nobody cares about me”, one can remain in the present moment and not fall into an abyss of unhealthy emotions. (Once the thoughts and feelings start appearing as real, and we start taking them too seriously, we just fall for the illusion of it all and start on our downward journey). After we re-establish our concentration, we can start re-viewing our emotions or feelings objectively- which helps us reset our views or perspectives (this is the Vipassana practice of building equanimity). This is the second and last step in helping us overcome a challenging situation- correct our view.
What Vipassana actually means is “Right View” which is the objective, nonjudgmental view.
How hatred and narcissism develop in the absence of ego validation
I am neither a psychology professional, nor a doctor of any kind, however, I have noticed a few mental attitudes that I think can be associated with cancer (by just simple observation, no scientific study). In fact these are also evident in mental disorders. At least from what I have seen there is surely some form of resentment or feelings of anger or hatred developing in the mind for a long time, either due to rejection from others, not being treated well, not feeling successful enough, or even simply not feeling validated “enough” etc. Sometimes due to this, narcissistic feelings also develop where one starts generating the delusion that one is “someone” or “powerful” or “successful” in the absence of enough ego validation or support coming from others. One’s mind tries to support oneself by inflating one’s ego. Of course this is not true for everyone and does not happen all the time. But this tendency is indicative of the absence of wisdom about how this mind body phenomenon called “I” truly operates. Instead of focusing on ego, one should develop wisdom and objectivity. But we often do the opposite.
All this starts from a simple feeling of “hurt” that we experience the first time in our lives. Others have not treated us with the respect we think we deserve or have rejected us or ignored us. And our “I” starts feeling threatened. Such feelings are actually quite common and I am no one to claim that every time these lead to cancer or disease. However, one must start becoming vigilant that such feelings are now coming up in me or such thoughts are arising in me and there is need for caution. In the beginning when such thoughts or feelings arise, it is easier to observe them or accept them nonjudgmentally. Then they diminish in their force automatically and simply pass away. If however, we mistakenly start believing in this “view” or “perception” and start taking them too seriously and forget all about objectivity, we may fall for the stories and start repeating this pattern in our minds obsessively because it gives us something- an illusion of self esteem or an assurance that we are someone or our stance is validated. Of course we are all human and social beings and we all need some form of validation, however relying on it as a lifestyle can be quite harmful. In reality we are just a continuum of thoughts and feelings which simply arise and pass away if we do not give them much importance. It is only when we attach to them and take them seriously or believe too much in the “I”, that we start the cycle of suffering.
How to introspect our minds objectively
I have observed this in close people and also in myself over the past few years. Life situations can surely make it tough for us to survive sometimes. I have personally gone through adversity in the recent past post a difficult life event which triggered some serious health issues unexpectedly. In those difficult times, my relationship with a few lifelong and close people went for a toss. I felt outrightly rejected. I also felt a sudden lack of appreciation or respect from their side while I was expecting the opposite. Over the next few years, even through my Vipassana practice (which is about being equanimous to all emotions and stimulus), I was unable to shake my newly developed dislike and anger for those who rejected me. It was the same mental dialogue that everyone goes through- “Who do they think they are?”, “They themselves are so pathetic”, “I should have never connected with such terrible people in my life”, etc. This dialogue, although intermittently, went on for quite some time, while I was also fully aware that this was only my own mental reaction and others were not responsible for my mental and physical condition. For my health issues I took guidance from Vipassana teachers from time to time and they clearly indicated that this is the Sankhara (mental habit pattern) of fear and/or hatred (“भय और द्वेष”) that is arising in me and I must observe it objectively. However, when I would try to sit and observe my thoughts or feelings as we do in Vipassana, my mind would often come up with egoistic alternative reactive thoughts like-“This is not hatred, THEY are bad!” or “It is not me, it is THEM”, “But I cared so much for THEM” etc. Objectivity does go for a toss in difficult times. 🙂
Over time however, I did realise that these are just arising from my own judgmental perspective and are all extremely common experiences which mostly every person in the world goes through some time or another and should not be taken very seriously. It is ok to disconnect with those who may not want to be part of your journey anymore, but it is not necessary to generate hatred for others. Because all they are trying to do is to be happy in their own way and simply avoid any unnecessary suffering. And truly, if we look objectively and carefully, don’t we all do that? Well, maybe not exactly in the same way or to the same degree. But we do all judge others often and suffer from misperceptions. No one is perfect.
And going back to why I am talking about all this? Because I have seen a few close people diagnosed of cancer, showing this typical trait of holding resentment in heart for long periods of time. There is also a lot of scientific research that validates the connection between anger, resentment and hatred to cancer [3]. Of course we know nothing about how the cancer cells first start forming etc. But there is seemingly a connection. So being observant of these tendencies early on and being cautious around them helps. One way to understand this is that every single thing in the universe- mind, body, form, material things, happiness, sorrow, life, relationships, jobs and what not- is subject to change. No matter what you do, what you have today will one day not be with you anymore. This is guaranteed. Even your own body, you’ll have to leave at death. So it may be wise to not take everything so seriously. Things are bound to change and people are bound to separate. So why the attachment? It is the resistance to change or rather, the attachment to how it could have been, how it should have been – that causes the misery.
Impermanence (Anicca) is in fact the foundation of all Buddha’s teachings.
Last but not the least, remember that I am not necessarily talking about extreme anger or hatred. Thankfully most of us are not capable of that. But one would think that a little hatred or anger or resentment is Ok. Justified. Isn’t it? It is so common, in fact we like to form groups, take sides and justify hating others. It’s either the boss, or the mother-in-law, an unfriendly neighbor or a member of the family who is surely intolerable. But unfortunately the more resentment we keep, the more it hurts us deep inside and only eventually causes some disease or disorder. Someone said something to us many decades back and we still remember that and create our own heartburn. Instead of counting our blessings, we count all the wrongs done to us by others. Recently while my mother was unwell, I was finding these dissatisfactory feelings pop up for doctors and the medical staff for their little attention and care. So I clearly know that this is not over for me. Once mind takes up a negative perspective, unless we make effort towards purifying it, those harsh feelings continue to accumulate. I have found it difficult to feel compassionate towards them or view their actions from a mental stance of understanding or empathy. This is obviously a failing on my part and a strong Sankhara (tendency) of “judgment”. Hopefully this view won’t last forever and I will be able to be truly objective and compassionate. My mother who has recently passed away wanted that from me too. So I am learning to let go.
How to protect oneself from negative vibrations
What should we do if others reject us, talk bad about us or even more, hurt us or harm us? Should we keep tolerating? No. Not at all. We can surely-
- Keep a practice of learning to be equanimous to outside stimulus of all kinds and our own emotions- whether fear, anger, hatred, jealousy etc. One must learn to be calm through all emotions. And the practice of mindfulness teaches exactly that. In fact, one should take responsibility of all our reactions and responses through adversity or challenging situations also, and should be very cautious when a hateful or angry thought starts arising in us. Because it is only the beginning of our destruction. Once a thought comes up, the entire old conditioned perspective starts coming up that we have developed previously and will eventually harm us only.
- However, if the other people are not making a similar effort and are slaves of their habits of hurting or harming us unnecessarily even when we have benevolent intentions for them, we should take action. First and foremost, we should practice mindfulness of our emotions by observing them objectively and nonjudgmentally. Thoughts are just thoughts. Feelings are just feelings. Simply vibrations arising and passing away. We should simply try to let go and generate compassion in our minds. But if the environment does not support us and we do not have enough equanimity to protect ourselves, we can choose to keep distance from them. Or even disconnect with them. But without harboring any negative feelings for them. Doing it only for one’s own good and for the good of others. It IS very important to protect ourselves and keep our minds pure and healthy. If the environment around us is inflating our emotions again and again and not letting us be mindful or peaceful, one must work towards changing the environment. Or at least we should make effort in getting the right support of those who generate peaceful vibrations or have a mindfulness practice themselves. Remember we cannot blame others when we become unwell and even if we do, that won’t help. Our harsh emotions harm us first and harm us the most.
How to overcome resentment or hatred for others?
Vipassana really helps a lot in this. It’s a beautiful path of complete self awareness and self reliance. Only if we are in full control of ourselves can we apply our will and work towards the benefit of ourselves and others. Also, it is true that every being deserves happiness and compassion. So, there is a practice of Metta Bhavana developed as part of Vipassana meditation, which is basically sharing the joy and compassion generated during the sitting, with others. Since we are objective and nonjudgmental to our emotions (during Vipassana meditation practice), lighter vibrations of joy and equanimity are generated during the meditation. And we can send these to all with the intention set in loving kindness. However, if the mind is too agitated, stressed or filled with much hatred or anger for someone, we are asked to not practice Metta at all. Alternatively, we can try by sending our Metta Bhavana (compassionate feelings) to those who we feel our most love and affection for first, and once the joy starts flowing in us, we can then send these vibrations to those we were hateful of. That helps clear our mind of our anger or hatred and we are sincerely able to wish well-being for others. This does require good morality, good concentration and a lot of practice. But it does become a force eventually.
As Buddha says-
अत्ता ही अत्तनो नाथो, अत्ता ही अत्तनो गति
One is one’s own master. One creates one’s own destiny through one’s own efforts and kammas.
(ps:
[1] Kamma= Karma in Pali language
[2] What I have shared above is coming from what I have learnt from my personal experiences, observations and the knowledge I have gained from Vipassana courses
[3] References to scientific papers or articles that link emotions to cancer-
- https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11037954/
- https://www.researchgate.net/publication/12286378_Anger_and_cancer_An_analysis_of_the_linkages
- https://med.stanford.edu/survivingcancer/cancer-and-stress/stress-and-cancer.html
- https://link.springer.com/referenceworkentry/10.1007/978-3-030-98711-4_47-1
- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC28368
